 Over the years, I’ve mentored many people looking to become writers (or, indeed, writers looking for new purpose). It’s been rewarding and many fine friendships have developed from these experiences.
Perhaps the question I’m most often asked as these relationships develop is, “How do you find the time to do it all?”. It’s a good question. In answering, I’m going to make a confession: I recently sought help from another writer in a “spread-the-load” strategy. Here’s what happened. Not long ago, I was involved in a conversation with some old friends about what kinds of cars our fathers drove. Don’t tell me how we got there: just happened. Anyway, this led us to one of the group talking about two guys he knows who have SUVs. He felt this was over the top and shared his reasoning. He then added that both vehicles were Cadillacs, and he set out against that theme as well. I’m not going to bore you with the details other than to say a discussion evolved and conclusions were reached. “PJ, you might want to write about this in your blog,” one of the lads suggested. Fair enough: not a bad idea, but at that particular moment, I simply didn’t have any time available. “Happy to do it for you, if you like,” came the offer from the lead protagonist. Now, truth be told, I was already over-due to post something on the blog (which I aim to do a least once a week, that being my commitment to the publisher who got me doing this thing in the first place, supposedly to add to my online “persona”). So this sounded like it could be an out. And after all, I would not claim they were my words, so I didn’t feel too bad… Result: a relatively short blog entry that my pal authored and that got me out of a bind. Now, this kind of thing is very rare. With me anyway. I take pride in writing, and that means having the time to write. In fact, I can’t think of another occasion where someone “ghosted” a blog entry for me. Still, I did feel I should ante up the truth about this one. Meanwhile, back to mentoring folks who seek to be writers. Let me close by sharing my favourite story that I always relate to my mentees. It’s about the celebrated Canadian novelist and short story writer Margaret Laurence. Seems she was attending a cocktail party and a gentleman rushed up to her, drink in hand, beaming with pride. “Miss Laurence, so glad you’re here,” he said breathlessly. “My name is Dr. Robinson. I’m a brain surgeon. When I retire, I’m going to become a novelist.” I gather Ms. Laurence did not miss a beat when she gazed dryly at him and responded, “Oh, how delightful. When I stop writing, I’m going to become a brain surgeon,” and she walked off demurely in search of cheese and crackers.
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 You likely don’t know his name. But the late Ryan Anthony was a former member of the Toronto quintet Canadian Brass and principal trumpet with the Dallas Symphony Orchestra. Well respected by his fellow musicians, Ryan was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, a deadly form of cancer. A foundation was set up – Cancer Blows – to raise awareness and money for further research, and this included creation of the unique “Song of Hope” which featured 1400 performers, aged 6 to 93, from 93 countries.
As is so often the case with great music, the song has migrated to a different scope, now known as A Hope for the Future, scored as a tribute to healthcare workers fighting the COVID-19 pandemic. Los Angeles-based Canadian trumpet soloist Jens Lindemann coordinated with 34 musicians in isolation to record and film the song from their homes around the world, and combined all those performances into a video. I’ve watched this countless times and yet, it still moves me beyond belief. I hope it will do the same for you. Just click this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQwn834k6Ow  For some time now, Tom Sandler (Ruth Lowe’s son) and I have been working to finalize an agreement with the company we’ve selected to produce the feature film about Ruth’s life, based on my book, “Until I Smile At You”. Well, after way too many months of legal interpretations, alterations and revisions, it looks like we’re finally there: ready for signing.
Have to tell you, I’m thrilled to have all the contract stuff behind us. I’m a creative soul, and what turns me on is contributing to the “pitch deck” and shooting script that will lead up to casting key roles in the film. Who will play Ruth Lowe? Who will embody the young, brash Sinatra? Who will be the disciplinarian Tommy Dorsey? etc. It's never been far from my mind that in the 1940s, MGM had wanted to make a film about Ruth’s life. Judy Garland was being touted to star, and she would have done a wonderful job of capturing Ruth’s spirit and talent. But the film never got off the ground (Ruth’s new husband kiboshed it, feeling she ought to focus her time on raising her new family, not on her past exploits). But now we have the opportunity before us. Lady Gaga as Ruth Lowe??? I think she’d be outstanding. I’ll keep you up to date in this space as things develop. But gotta tell ya, I’m pumped!  Well 2022, time to bid you farewell. And throw out a big welcome mat to 2023.
But hold on. I gotta ask: did any of us ever expect we’d be confronted with all the challenges of the past year? Seems it’s been non-stop: Covid-based worldwide pandemic. Global climate crisis. Global climate events. Inflation. Ukraine decimated by Russia. Putin’s threat of using nuclear weapons. Global hunger. Donald Trump. Advancing AI systems. etc., etc. Haven’t really even scratched the surface. Fact is, we live in scary times where new scourges lie around every corner. So, where does this leave a guy like me? A dude who works to be happy, optimistic and positive in approaching life? Well, if you’re looking for a small piece of advice, allow me. Here’s what each person I’ve interviewed for my books tells me: “Be happy with what you’ve got, not with what you don’t have.” So simple. Yet how many people do you know who just can’t get there? The other bon mots I’d pass along are: “Start every day with offering thanks for something positive in your life. Show the gratitude you feel for good things that come your way.” At the very least, it’ll take your mind off the negative stuff. I hope you can do that. Yeah, it sometimes takes some work, I know that. But it is a beneficial strategy. Have a Happy, Healthy New Year. And here’s to less stress and more enjoyment in 2023!  My marvelous group of “olde” school pals – the 66ers – involve ourselves in some wonderful and varied conversations, some deep, some less so. Recently, a couple of us were chatting about the cars our dads drove and I chose to pass along some ensuing facts in my blog. Surprise: someone out there actually thinks I was writing about them. (OK Weird Al Yankovic, y’er on”: “You’re so vain, I bet you think this blog is about you, you’re so vain…)
Anyway, as we approach the end of the year, it does serve to remind me of the deep friendships which are so important. The 5 of us “66ers” were all good buds back in the day when we graduated from Grade 13 (yeah, well, unless you were there, you’ll have to look it up: actually happened!). And as we’ve re-collided over time with even stronger bonds, it’s been wonderful, just adding to the strength of my personal relationships, family and close friends. As for 2023: let’s be sure it’s healthy, happy and harmonious! Cheers, PJ  You know, I guess each of us has our own ways of buying vehicles. Still, as the year winds down, it occurred to me that two guys I know have bought Cadillac SUVs this year. And that left me scratching my head.
As you may know, the SUV is an outrageous gas guzzler. Unless you’re ferrying around teens with hockey equipment, there’s no reason to have one: it’s bad for the environment! But more than that, an SUV is far more prone to rollovers than a car—and you're more likely to die in a rollover: SUV crashes result in far worse outcomes than sedans. It’s just a bad model to buy! The other question is branding. These two guys bought Cadillac SUVs. Why, I’ll never know. You pay a premium price for that brand. But ask anyone today: name the best car brands, and you’ll get Mercedes-Benz, Lexus, Acura, Infiniti, Audi, BMW… but never Cadillac. Sure, back when we were kids Caddies had a cachet, but not anymore. Oh well, as I said, each of us has our own ways of buying vehicles.  OK, I’ve ranted on about death and dying before. But a story in a recent issue of the Toronto Star has got my hackles up again. (Whatever they are! Oh yeah… “hackle | ˈhakəl | noun 1 hackles: erectile hairs along the back of a dog or other animal that rise when it is angry or alarmed”).
Anyway, the newspaper story is a big one and it’s all about Michael Fraser and “The Story of his Life, and his Decision to End It.” Now, I’m not going to take you through the misery of this man’s life, but I can tell you that after a lifetime of trauma (intractable disease, poverty, childhood sexual trauma, mental health challenges and the option of an assisted death), Michael was housebound by incurable illness and poverty. He was unable to pay his rent and get outside. He’d reached the end point. He’d had enough. He wanted out. The future was bleak. The present was awful. The past was best consigned to oblivion. As Michael himself said, “My body is falling apart. I don’t want to spend the net five or six years living like this… I’d rather die in my own bed than just die neglected….” So he made a choice. And because Canada loosened the rules to qualify for medical assistance in dying (MAID) last year, removing the requirement that applicants have a fatal or terminal condition that would make their natural death “reasonably foreseeable”, he was able to do so. When Fraser’s story was revealed by the Star, we learned he chose to end his life at the age of 55, and as described in the story, his decision was prompted by “a constellation of factors. He was one of thousands of Canadians who avail themselves every year of MAID. He requested – and was approved for – MAID, and on the afternoon of July 2 his doctor came to his Toronto apartment and injected a cocktail of lethal drugs. His wife and friends were at his side to see him out of this life. Fraser’s situation was sad: he was sick, poor and lonely. And yes, he hadn’t been outside for five weeks because he couldn’t navigate stairs and there was no elevator in his building. He had decided that life was no longer worth living. But Andrew Phillips, a Toronto Star columnist, just has to weigh in and ask, “How is it remotely acceptable for us to stand by while people choose death because they can’t pay rent or get outside?” Excuse me? That’s annoying: you’re suggesting by that question that this was his only reason!? That’s just plain silly. But sadly, so typical of the bleeding hearts that want us all to live life their way. Phillips continues: “This doesn’t invalidate the original purpose of assisted death – to relieve the suffering of people near the end of life. But it does stand as a rebuke to a society that’s willing to support death as a solution to despair, rather than do everything it can to make sure no one feels pushed into that fatal decision. (We could start by simply raising disability payments rather than knocking a few cents off the price of gas.)” Oh puleeeeeesze! You know, Andy, maybe we could provide support to adults suffering from a life they no longer want to live and who wish to die on their own terms. Because, my friend, it’s their life, not yours. BTW, nearly 15 years ago I was introduced to Dying With Dignity (dyinhwithdignity.ca) by my late friend Nagui Morcos. He was dying from a terrible condition called Huntington’s Disease, and wanted to exit this earth before he devolved into such a mess as his father had done previously with this inherited illness. I hadn’t thought about Dying With Dignity for a while, but Michael Fraser’s story brought this worthwhile organization to mind, and I’ve just made a donation. I hope you will too. https://www.dyingwithdignity.ca/donate/  Just concluded a wonderful interview with Monica Mancini, daughter of the late, great, Henry Mancini. It’s for my 9th book “Icons. Growing Up In The Shadow Of Greatness” in which I’m profiling descendants of well-known individuals. More than just revealing the attributes of intriguing people, the book will serve as a guide for how each of us can harness the influences that impact and affect our own nurturing as we learn from those who discuss the characteristics of their famed upbringing.
Hank Mancini was a hero of mine, ever since I discovered his musical genius while watching “Peter Gunn” as a kid: loved Mancini’s theme for that show as well as his incidental tunes like Dreamsville. But here’s the thing about Monica: she’s not at all slow to express joy. It’s apparent she’s an individual who takes little for granted. I was struck by how she readily acknowledged the beauty of the state she lives in (California), the gratefulness she has for growing up in the Mancini family, the joy she experiences working with her husband Gregg to make music, etc. You know, a friend of mine came very close to dying after experiencing a really bad car accident. He had to endure months of heavy rehab just to stay alive and learn to walk and talk again. It was heavy-duty, but eventually he re-emerged. Now, his whole outlook has changed and he told me recently, “Peter, start every day being thankful for something or acknowledge something that is positive in your life.” I do. Strikes me that’s where Monica’s at too, and in these times of being surrounded by so much negativity, it’s really refreshing to hear it.  I was recently reading the commentary of a well-known thinker talking about Covid. I have to admit I was disappointed when she stated, “Of course, we’ll all get it sooner or later” referring to what she sees as the inevitability of each and every one of us coming down with the condition.
Personally, I find that kind of defeatism disturbing. Why throw in the towel without a fight? Surely we shouldn’t just assume a disease can have its way with us despite what we might do to avoid it. In my case, I’ve had 5 vaccines against Covid, where a mask in public places and avoid crowds where possible. Perhaps, as a result, I’m one of the few people I know who hasn’t come down with this damn pandemic. Not looking for any awards here: just hopeful that optimism might prevail!  It being Thanksgiving here in Canada, I’m particularly thankful for the amazing colours the leaves are offering us this year. Frankly, I think it’s the best colour cavalcade I’ve seen: outstanding!
I know lots of friends who like to take off for Florida for six months to escape winter (do enjoy the remains of Hurricane Ian this year!!), but that’s not for me. You see, I’m one of those weird Canucks who actually enjoys winter. OK, I’ll admit to getting away to the Caribbean (Saint Lucia, here I come!) for a couple of weeks in late January/early February just to break the back of the cold season, but I don’t mind the snow at all. In fact, my loyal pup Macy and I enjoy traipsing around in the snowy 10 acre off-leash dog park we have here in town throughout the winter: great fun! The seasons are what we make of them… and I’m thankful to live in Canada where our seasonal offerings are incredibly rich! |
